I came across this article on facebook yesterday, and fell in love immediately. Such a simple idea, and yet it is something that I am sure many married couples do not understand.
The writer Seth Smith writes about a conversation he had with his father where he shared doubts about getting married. Was he ready? Was his fiancée the “right one”? Would she make him happy?
His father explained that his questions were completely selfish. You don’t marry asking what another person can do for you, you marry with the ideas and hopes of what you can do for the other person. How can you make their life better? What big or small things can you do each day to bring a smile to their face?
He explains to his son that “Marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
It seems so simple to me….. if both partners had the other person’s interests above their own, wouldn’t both parties consistently be happy? Wouldn’t both partners always feel special?
Instead of wondering what your partner has done for you lately, why not ask what you have done for your partner? When is the last time you thought about his/her feelings alone, and not only of your own? Of course BOTH partners have to share this same thought process for this idea to be a success! Share this article with them to start the conversation if need be 🙂