When catching up with my blogs this week, I came across this great article on the Woman’s Day blog. “Fights worth having with your husband”….. it caught my eye right away. What is worth fighting over? Not a petty argument over the dishes or a rude comment, but what are the subjects really worth some discussion?
I’ll admit it, I am lucky. Brian and I hardly ever fight. It used to honestly worry me. Shouldnt we disagree about some things? I’ve always thought a good argument now and then is healthy, so to not have those “conversations” very often was new to me. But, I still know there are things worth fighting over, things I feel passionate about and have to communicate with my husband when they arise.
We have our moments when these big issues come up and I ask myself “is it worth it?”. If in the middle of our crazy work week something comes up should I pick a fight over it, or just let it go. Being the over-communicator that I am, we’ll talk about it of course, but do we need to fight? What is really worth fighting over? Should I just drop it and move on?
The article was really interesting. Here are the 6 issues that as a wife, you should never just let go of:
1. He needs to go to the doctor: “He’d rather sweep health concerns under the rug than face the fear of an actual diagnosis. Assure your husband that your concern for his longevity is rooted in love. Taking care of his health is the best way to ensure that he’ll be around for a very long time”
2. He undermines your parenting authority: “You said no only to have your husband give in. Calmly discuss the importance of showing a united front toward your children. Agree to uphold the parenting decisions he makes for the same courtesy in return. Differences in parenting opinion should be discussed away from the kids”
3. He doesn’t do enough around the house: “It’s hard not to take every burden and chore personally when it’s all on you. Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD recommends broaching the subject with your husband calmly and specifically, reminding him a happier and more energetic wife will result with his help”
4. He works too much: “Consider the alternative – yikes! Still, all the overtime at the office has left you feeling like less of a priority. Rather than complain about his absence, emphasize how much he is missed and try finding creative ways to spend more time together”
5. He’s a spender/cheap skate: “Money is the inevitable third wheel in every marriage. According to Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, “A spender may want to enjoy their hard work, while a saver wants to feel safe.” Whatever your husband’s money motive, discuss family finances and spending habits openly and honestly”
6. He only shows affection when he’s looking for action: “It’s easy to feel suspicious of his affectionate motives, when they don’t happen consistently. Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After suggests designated sex-free nights filled with affection that doesn’t result in sex. If you need affection, ask him to give it to you even when it wont lead to sex. Holding hands and kissing can be just as important in a relationship, and a vital part of intimacy”
Just some food for thought 🙂 Fight for the important things, and let go of the little things!