I can across this article today….. about relationships and text messaging. Take a look

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/texting-ruining-marriages-181500487.html

It’s one of my biggest pet peeves, (well along with socks with flip-flops and clothes on dogs! lol) when I see a couple at dinner, all dressed up for a night out, and I look over to see one of them texting at the dinner table. You see the other person just waiting for the others attention, playing with the food on their plate. So sad. What happened to home phones? Answering machines? Being “unavailable” because you were spending quality time with your partner? lol

Yes, I understand we are all busy, and that for some people (my husband included) the work just sometimes never stops. But, I really found the below article interesting because this is the age we live in and I understand how it could effect a relationship or even a friendship! I’ll admit it, I text WAY more than I talk on the phone! It is crazy to me that there are friends that I text over and over for weeks at a time, without ever having an actually conversation with them! Yes, I am technically staying in touch, but am I really staying connected? I agree with the article, there is a huge difference between face to face or voice to voice contact, and an electronic text. In a relationship, I’m sure so many text messages are taken out of context or are misunderstood between two people. It’s understandable that with no body language or facial expressions to back up a conversation, things can get lost in translation.

On the flip side, I of course see the convenience of texting, and how it allows us to stay connected in many conditions. I know that text messages are a quick substitute for a long conversation that I may not have the time to have. I understand that when used correctly in a relationship, texting can really keep two people connected when they are apart. It makes my whole day when I get a text from my husband in the middle of the day “Just thinking about you. I love you”. So sweet.

The article simply explains that BALANCE is key. “Black out” times are important, allowing some phone down time for couples. A few months ago I heard that some restaurants were going to ban the use of cell phones in their dining room. Some restaurants already do this, and I think it’s wonderful! When you are out at a dinner with your spouse, (or even a girlfriend!) focus on them, give them that time, give them your attention. I don’t see a problem with a quick “Im out at dinner, call you later” message, but when you sit down, take your phone out of your pocket and lay it on the table in front of you just waiting to pick it up any moment when someone more important texts…. I see a problem with that! Balance the time you keep your phone in your hand and the phone on silent in your purse. Balance the time you spend sending a nice text with the times you make time for a quick call. Balance the time you spend talking to your partner with the time you spend emailing them. Never fight over text. Never text from another room in the same house. Communication does come in all forms, but there is no substitution for a great one on one, face to face conversation, or even a long, late night phone call with your partner when they are away.

Let’s use our words people! Talk to your neighbor, call your mom, send a hand written card in the mail…. right after you press that send button for the 100th time today.

~Candice